This is a topic that has come up several times in interviews over the past few months. People who are making the change to a conscious and spiritually-driven life often discover that they are yoked to someone who is not prepared to come along on that journey. The partner is mired in his or her own negative thoughts and emotions, and meets any topic of spiritual enlightenment, positive vibration and conscious creation with a wall of resistance. Don’t despair…lots of others have gone through this phase too, and come out on the other side with a happier life. Let’s look at what you can do in this situation:
• Stay in your positive vibration state. Don’t allow your spouse or mate to pull you out of alignment with the Universe. When you feel yourself drawn into it, take a walk, go play with the kids, read a book, or go have lunch with your best friend … and continue to think and feel positive about yourself, your life and the good qualities in your partner.
• Create a sacred place in your home where you can go to meditate, clear your chakras, express gratitude, Consciously Create, connect with the Universe, —activities that keep your frequency high. Ask your partner to respect this private time, so that you can “recharge.” This recharging should continue to buttress you against his or her negativity.
• Demonstrate how your life has changed by just being happier, more upbeat, and less stressed. Soon your partner may want to know what it is that has changed you and how he/she can get some of it!
• By changing how you respond to things, your spouse is bound to have to adjust. If you are doing something different, that will change the dynamic between you and within the family. Your partner will have to adjust in some ways to meet or stay up with the new you.
• Visualize a harmonious relationship. See your relationship changing and your partner opening up to greater dialogue, a more open-minded attitude and a willingness to explore new avenues—new ways of thinking. Take your focus off of what is WRONG, and put it on what is right and what you desire.
• Throw your “love net” around him or her. We’ve previously written a bit about the “love net,” but I really believe this is an empowering tool to create waves of love that generate vibrational change. See yourself throwing the net of positive loving energy over your mate and yourself, so that it will allow him/her to release the negativity in a net of safety and acceptance. This raises the vibration between the two of you, and floods him or her with your loving, positive energy.
• Each day of the week, spend five minutes telling your partner one or more of the things you love about him or her. Your partner will be delighted to hear praise instead of complaints! It may well begin to shift his/her expectations, mood and outlook.
• Focus on making the present moment the very best and most enjoyable you can and vision for the future. Release the past. Don’t reintroduce old patterns, or hold him or her to past behavior by bringing up how it’s been previously, and make sure that you don’t fall back into old negative repetitive interactions yourself. Let go of the anticipation that your partner will respond in “the same old way.” Leave the door open for change and possibility. Create a new pattern of interaction through your change of emotions, thoughts and energy habits.
• Present your partner with positive alternatives. When he or she focuses on the negative, gently demonstrate what alternative thought, emotion or perception may further his or her desire. Be a teacher, but do it gently. Don’t force-feed these concepts.
• Become a Master Manifestor. As you raise your frequency, good things will increasingly come to you at your beckoning. If your spouse or partner gets jealous, point out that he/she can do this too if he/she follows your path. Then hand your partner a copy of The Art of Conscious Creation!
• Accept that the Universe is creating an opportunity to test how effectively you can maintain your own positive energy in the face of a challenge!
• Lastly, and this is the most extreme outcome, if you have tried all of these over time and you find yourself in a situation that is not emotionally healthy for you, you may have to leave the relationship. It is when the negatives outweigh the positives, with little prospects for change, that you have a responsibility to your ebullient and joyful soul to find an alternative lifestyle either alone or with a more positively-disposed and spiritually aware partner. Remember, even when there are children involved, they fare better with at least one happy parent, rather than two miserable ones.
For many relationships, the awakening of one partner is often the key to evolution and positive growth for both. May yours be one of those!
